Column: I Got Mail

Dear readers,

My recent columns about John Mellencamp and Dylan Mulvaney brought lots and lots of reader mail.

The mail generated by my John Mellencamp review was mostly positive. The mail generated by the Dylan Mulvaney, Bud Light fandango, not so much.

Most of you who wrote wanted to know more about Mellencamp’s Shelbyville girlfriend, Myra Conner. Unfortunately, Myra passed away in 2017. However, I did interview Myra 30 years ago. Here are some fun facts gleaned from my notes taken at that time.

Myra met John Mellencamp at the Whiteland Barn, a teenage hangout in Johnson County that featured live rock n’ roll bands. She and John dated for about six months. 

Myra admitted to wearing Bobbie Brooks clothes, however she didn’t remember Mellencamp ever taking her to the Tastee Freez. She doubted that she was the inspiration for his song, “Jack and Diane.”  

Myra agreed that it would be a good story if her pet name for Mellencamp was “Johnny Cougar,” but unfortunately it wasn’t. If she had a pet name for him, she wasn’t sharing. 

Several readers asked me if I remembered the exact house on W. Franklin Street where Myra lived when Mellencamp visited. I do know the address. However, out of respect for those who live there now, I am keeping it a secret. If published, W. Franklin Street would be jammed with Mellencamp fans wanting a tour. More aggressive fans would probably start chipping away souvenirs. 

Now, let’s talk about the hate mail.

My column covering the Bud Light boycott wasn’t liked by either Kid Rock or Dylan Mulvaney fans. I’m sticking with the Willie Farkle’s rule on beer drinking, “he who pays the tab chooses the brand.”

Willie and I seem to be in the minority on this one. The Bud Light boycott not only hasn’t ended, it has created a new movement called “Bud Lighting.” 

It looks like Target and Chick-fil-A might be next. No company is safe. 

On the bright side maybe, these boycotts will lead to some great going out of business sales. I once picked up a 10-year supply of Billy Beer for 39 cents a 6-pack.

If you haven’t yet watched Kid Rock shoot up his stockpile of Bud Light or Dylan Mulvaney’s video, both are entertaining. Dylan is a very entertaining performance artist and comic who has made several videos.

My favorite is when Dylan takes a nature walk. My question to Dylan fans, is Dylan an actor or actress? 

See you all next week, same Schwinn time, same Schwinn channel.

WARNING: Possible side effects from reading Meltzer’s column include a rash, hiccups, or a case of the vapors. If you experience any of these side effects, immediately go back to your crocheting.

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