Column: Does sitting too close to the radio cause Polio?

Dear readers,

It was common knowledge when I was a boy that sitting too close to the TV caused cancer. An old-timer once told me that his mom said sitting too close to the radio caused polio.

I was born during the Eisenhower administration, so I don’t remember a time before there was television. I can’t imagine a childhood without TV. Even now, I can relive my youth by watching my favorite shows from the 1960s. 

For some reason this week I got tired of watching Opie throw that rock into Myers Lake. I even got tired of watching Dick Van Dyke as Rob Petrie trip over the ottoman.

I felt like Conrad and his sister, Sally, in “The Cat in the Hat,” it was too cold to go outside. Quoting Conrad,

“So all we could do was to

Sit!

      Sit!

            Sit!

And we did not like it.

Not one little bit.”

The Cat in the Hat didn’t pay me a visit, so I had to find something to do. I decided to travel back in time to the golden age of radio.

During the 1930s and 1940s, radio was the dominant form of entertainment. Similar to TV shows there were many different types of radio shows:

• Comedy: Programs like Fibber McGee and Molly and The Jack Benny Program were immensely popular. These shows featured hilarious skits, memorable characters, and catchphrases that became part of everyday vernacular.
• Drama: Gunsmoke, which premiered in 1952, brought the Wild West into American living rooms with its gripping storytelling and vivid sound effects. Another notable drama that later transitioned to TV was Dragnet, a crime series.
• Adventure: Little Orphan Annie captivated young listeners with tales of the plucky red-haired girl and her dog, Sandy. The Lone Ranger also galloped into popularity with thrilling adventures of the masked hero and his faithful companion, Tonto.
• Variety Shows: The Fred Allen Show was a hit for its blend of comedy, music, and topical satire.

When I was a boy, I remember my parents talking about the radio shows they listened to in their youth. Later, I had a set of cassette tapes of the radio show, The Great Gildersleve. 

Now I listen to old radio shows on podcasts. If you haven’t ever listened to old time radio, you should give it a try. Just search on podcasts for “old time radio shows” or search under the show’s name. Most radio shows are half an hour long and great to listen to in the car when driving somewhere Giant FM isn’t available.

Here are a few of my favorites:

• Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall: This iconic couple star in Bold Venture, a radio adventure series that aired from 1951 to 1952. The show featured Bogart as a charter boat captain and Bacall as his ward, navigating danger and intrigue in the Caribbean.
• Orson Welles: Before becoming a film legend with Citizen Kane, Welles made a significant mark on radio. You can find several shows with Orsen Wells. My favorite is The Lives of Harry Lime.
• Cary Grant: The suave actor is in the comedy The Adventures of Topper, playing the role of Cosmo Topper, a banker haunted by the ghosts of a fun-loving couple.
• James Stewart: Known for his distinctive voice, Stewart is in the radio adaptation of The Six Shooter, a Western drama that aired from 1953 to 1954. He played Britt Ponset, a wandering cowboy with a reputation for being quick on the draw.
• Ginger Rogers: The famous actress and dancer appears in various radio shows, including the popular anthology series Lux Radio Theatre, where movie scripts were adapted into hour-long radio plays.

And best of all, so long as you were vaccinated for polio, you can sit as close to the radio as you want while listening.

See you all next week, same Schwinn time, same Schwinn channel.