Column: Tomorrow is St. Patrick’s Day, don’t forget to wear green

St. Patrick’s Day is the one day of the year when everyone is Irish, even if their ancestry traces back to a land where the only green is the mold on week-old bread.

Tomorrow, those celebrating will drink Irish liquor, pinch the unprepared, and chase the elusive promise of leprechaun gold. If you are one who enjoys doing the pinching to those who forgot to wear green, don’t forget that teeth and jewelry count!

Speaking of leprechauns, you know if you catch one, he has to give you three wishes. Even though your chances of catching a leprechaun is slim, better go ahead and think of three really good wishes.

You don’t want to be like Team Schwinn member Earl. One year he caught a leprechaun and wasted his wishes on a single bottle of Irish whiskey, a funny hat, and directions home. (Though, to be fair, the whiskey might have been worth it.)

So, if you’re lucky enough to corner one of the tiny tricksters, think carefully. Maybe wish for a lifetime supply of corned beef, a personal rainbow, or the ability to Irish dance like Michael Flatley.

Once upon a time it seemed like there were as many commercials on TV advertising the Michael Flatley “Lord of the Dance” show as Kenn Nunn lawyer ads. “Irish Spring” soap commercials were also popular about the same time.

I’ll bet Michael Flatley used Irish Spring soap after working up a sweat doing the “Riverdance.”

Now, back to my St. Patrick’s Day column after that brief commercial break.

So, what’s the big deal about St. Patrick? Did he really drive all the snakes out of Ireland? Well, not exactly.

Nerds will tell you that Ireland never had snakes to begin with, thanks to its chilly climate and surrounding seas.

The tale of St. Patrick driving out the snakes is an allegory for his role in spreading Christianity and driving out pagan practices. So no snakes, but the shamrock is real.

St. Patrick used it to explain the Holy Trinity, which just goes to show that even saints appreciate a good visual aid. Today, the shamrock is everywhere on St. Patrick’s Day, from lapels to latte art.

Today’s little drawing was by my late friend and former law partner, George Stubbs Sr. George, who passed away many years ago, was a talented cartoonist for The Shelbyville News from the 1950s to the 1990s. His weekly cartoons captured the humor and heart of major news events, and his St. Patrick’s Day drawings always brought a smile. Finding one of his cartoons in a shoebox of memories was like discovering a little pot of gold.

George was the artist who came up with the cartoon for SCUFFY, “the little man with the big heart.”

Speaking of SCUFFY, the annual fund drive is going on right now. Everyone in the community is out working to make SCUFFY a success.

Wouldn’t it be nice if the checkout at Walmart gave you the choice to “round-up” for SCUFFY?  Well maybe next year. So far, I think I’m getting the old Arkansas okey-doke.

 Happy St. Patrick’s Day, everyone. May your day be filled with laughter, luck, and just a pinch of magic. 

See you all next week, same Schwinn time, same Schwinn channel.

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