Column: Warning ... eggnog is flammable

Dear readers,

Tis the season of fruitcakes and eggnog, two of my favorite Christmas treats.

Way back in the 20th century, Dan Compton would always give me a call to let me know when Compton’s Dairy would have their famous eggnog available.  I always liked to have a glass of eggnog with my first slice of fruitcake of the season.

Fruitcake’s popularity has diminished somewhat in recent years. When Johnny Carson was the king of late-night comedy, he even had Truman Capote’s aunt on his show as “the fruitcake lady.”

Capote’s short story “A Christmas Memory” is about making fruitcakes with his aunt when he was a child. It was a very popular short story and Academy award winning actress Geraldine Page won a primetime Emmy award for her portrayal of Capote’s aunt in a 1966 TV special.  Another Oscar winner, Patty Duke, played Capote’s aunt in a 1997 Christmas special.

Eggnog has been a popular Christmas treat for centuries. The recipe for eggnog varies from harmless to high octane. It was originally a beverage that could not safely be consumed around open flame or mistletoe.   

Legend has it that George Washington himself was quite the connoisseur of eggnog. In fact, his personal recipe, a veritable tidal wave of booze, makes your average eggnog look like a health drink. Washington's version included cognac, whiskey, sherry, and rum — clearly, the man knew how to celebrate. 

A member of the Phi Delta Theta fraternity at Wabash College once told me that Washington’s original recipe did not contain cognac. It was French General Lafayette who added a bottle of cognac one year.  Washington liked the addition so much that he changed his recipe.

It was also the birth of the fraternity tradition of the “hairy buffalo” where guests bring a bottle of their choice to add to the punch bowl. 

Learning about General Washington’s eggnog made me wonder about that Christmas eve when he and his troops famously crossed the Delaware River.

Picture this: a crisp winter night, the icy river's dark waters lapping against the sides of the boat. Washington, ever the leader, stands tall — perhaps a bit too tall — on the bow. One can't help but wonder did he not know the cardinal rule of boat safety? Don't stand up! Especially when crossing a half-frozen river in the dead of night with the fate of a nation resting on your shoulders.

Yet there he was, standing up, daring the laws of physics. Perhaps it wasn't sheer courage, but a hearty serving of eggnog that gave him the fortitude to stand in the boat. After all, with his troops fortified by his potent eggnog recipe, the attack on the Hessian soldiers that fateful night could very well have been an eggnog-induced brilliance.

"Why not attack tonight?" he might have slurred, raising his pewter mug filled with his special eggnog. "I’m feeling invincible!"

So, this holiday season, as you sip on your cup of eggnog, raise a toast to traditions old and new. And remember, whether you're sneaking a kiss under the mistletoe or enjoying another slice of fruitcake, it's all made merrier by the good old eggnog — truly, the nectar of American Christmases. Cheers!

See you all next week, same Schwinn time, same Schwinn channel.

Bonus: Washington’s eggnog recipe, this is not for the faint-hearted. Keep away from open flame.

1 quart cream

1 quart milk

12 tablespoons sugar

1 pint cognac

½ pint rye whiskey, Jamaican rum, and sherry

Mix the liquor first, then separate the yolks and whites of 12 eggs. Add the sugar to the beaten yolks, mix well.

Add the milk and cream, slowly beating.

Beat the whites of the eggs until stiff and fold them into the mixture.

Let it set in a cool place for several days. Taste frequently.